Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
