So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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