Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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