I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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