i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
