he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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