Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
