Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
