I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Operation Purity has been aborted
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
