Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
