you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
