im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
