Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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