1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
