Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
