You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
