We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
