think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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