I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
