if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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