i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
