Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
