I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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