Non-Jews are for practice
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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