you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
