If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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