I just threw up on my dentist
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just pee around me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
