i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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