Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
