He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
