You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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