I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
