I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
