Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
