this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
