Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
