I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am puke
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
