Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
