Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
