Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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