I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
