Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
