It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think people are normalizing furries
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
