he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
