In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
