Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I love black thongs
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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