Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
