Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
