drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
