Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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