So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
