are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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