We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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