Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
