I hate all girls vehemently.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
